Quote of the Day (2007-10-31)

Ian Faith: They're not gonna release the album... because they have decided that the cover is sexist.
Nigel Tufnel: Well, so what? What's wrong with bein' sexy? I mean there's no...
Ian Faith: Sex-IST!
David St. Hubbins: IST!

Source: This is Spinal Tap

Quote of the Day (2007-10-30)

Carolyn Burnham: Honey, I'm so proud of you. I watched you very closely, and you didn't screw up once!

Source: American Beauty

Quote of the Day (2007-10-29)

Basil Fawlty: [exasperated with Manuel] Please! Try to understand before one of us dies.

Source: Fawlty Towers

Quote of the Day (2007-10-28)

I once shot a man just to watch him die. Then I got distracted and missed it. My friends tried to describe it to me, but it just isn't the same.

Source: Kids in the Hall

Quote of the Day (2007-10-27)

Charles: How do you do, my name is Charles.
Old man: Don't be ridiculous, Charles died 20 years ago!
Charles: Must be a different Charles, I think.
Old man: Are you telling me I don't know my own brother!
Charles: No, no.

Source: Four Weddings And A Funeral

Quote of the Day (2007-10-26)

Margaret Lord: The course of true love...
Macaulay Connor: ...gathers no moss.

Source: The Philadelphia Story

Quote of the Day (2007-10-25)

Sir Humphrey: "How are things at the Campaign for the Freedom of Information, by the way?"
Sir Arnold: "Sorry, I cannot talk about that."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2007-10-24)

Jim Hacker: "But you got me this job [local government]."
Sir Humphrey: "Yes, but I didn't expect you to do anything, I mean, you have never done anything before."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2007-10-23)

Homer: Kids, just because I don't care doesn't mean I'm not listening.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2007-10-22)

[Bart is faking illness to get out of a test he hasn't prepared for]
Bart: Ohhhh, my ovaries.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2007-10-21)

[Bart has had his ear pierced]
Lisa: An earring, how rebellious. In a conformist sort of way.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2007-10-20)

Reg: If you want to join the People's Front of Judea, you have to really hate the Romans.
Brian: I do!
Reg: Oh yeah, how much?
Brian: A lot!
Reg: Right, you're in.

Source: Life of Brian

Patriots Questions

Long before the 2007 season, I posed several questions about the New England Patriots. I think they can be answered now.

1. Can the defense hold up? Well, that defense is currently ranked #2 in the league, and #6 in the all important statistic of points allowed per game. It's a long season, and they still have to face some very good offenses, but so far that defense is holding up quite well. The only flaw I've seen is they seem a bit vulnerable against the run. Barber got off some good ones in the Dallas game, particularly the play where he broke 6 or 7 tackles, most in the end zone for what would have been a safety, and turned a broken, no shattered, play into a nice gain. They're still ranked #7 against the run, but the opposing teams are usually so far behind so fast that they just can't run too much. Against a team whose defense can slow the Patriot offense and attack the defense with the run, New England could have problems.
   
2. Can the brand new receiving corps gel? Uh, they seem to be doing pretty well. And if this is how good they are while still getting to know each other, how scary will they be when all the kinks are worked out? Wow!
3. How will Randy Moss fit in? So far, outstandingly. He leads the league in receiving yards and touchdowns. In six games, he's blown well past his statistical output in all of 2006. Moss has been on his best behavior, at least publicly a model teammate. I think the only question now is when the Patriots are going to sign him to a long, and big, contract. At this point, I don't think they can let this guy go.
4. Can Maroney carry the load? This hasn't really been answered as Maroney has been injured and has missed 3 games. But in his absence, the running game has clicked along just fine with Sammy Morris. Unfortunately, he's now injured as well. But when both are healthy, Maroney won't have to carry the load as New England will again have an outstanding two-headed running attack.

So all questions answered. The Patriots are scary good. Is there anyone in the league who can stop them, other than themselves? I'm not sure. As I commented on above, a team with a good defense and a power running game will probably give them problems. They do have a couple games against teams like that on the schedule: the Ravens on 12/3 and the Steelers the following week. If they make it that far undefeated, I don't see it getting beyond those two games. But they should still cruise to a Super Bowl triumph.

Quote of the Day (2007-10-19)

Father Sean: [recalling what St. Peter said to him] Sean, you wanker, repent of your sins or sod off.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2007-10-18)

All right ... all right ... but apart from better sanitation and medicine and education and irrigation and public health and roads and a freshwater system and baths and public order ... what HAVE the Romans done for US?

Source: Life of Brian

Quote of the Day (2007-10-17)

What also floats in water?
VILLAGER #1: Bread!
VILLAGER #2: Apples!
VILLAGER #3: Very small rocks!
VILLAGER #1: Cider!
VILLAGER #2: Great gravy!
VILLAGER #1: Cherries!
VILLAGER #2: Mud!
VILLAGER #3: Churches -- churches!
VILLAGER #2: Lead -- lead!

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2007-10-16)

Must be a king. He hasn't got s*** all over him.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2007-10-15)

Edwards: I would like to voice my strong concern about this show's spiraling decline in ratings. David, ever since you took us to the Caribbean, it's been Jamaica homeless people sucking soup, and a big wave outside that cost a hundred thousand dollars. That's depressing and it's expensive, two words I hate. You know the words I like? I like the word "peppy" and the word "cheap". Peppy and cheap.

Source: Soapdish

Quote of the Day (2007-10-14)

Marge: [to Bart] Now we have to find another school for you.
Homer: And if you get kicked out of that one, you're going straight in the army, where you'll be sent straight to America's latest military quagmire. Where will it be? North Korea? Iran? Anything's possible with Commander Cuckoo-Bananas in charge.

Source: The Simpsons

Quote of the Day (2007-10-13)

Politicians' Logic: Something must be done, this is something, therefore it must be done.

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2007-10-12)

Victor Melling: Your hair should make a statement.
Gracie Hart: As long as it doesn't say 'Thank you very much for the Country Music Award'!

Source: Miss Congeniality

Quote of the Day (2007-10-11)

Carol: Fucking H.M.O. bastard pieces of shit!
Beverly Connelly: Carol!
Carol: Sorry.
Dr. Martin Bettes: It's okay. Actually, I think that's their technical name.

Source: As Good As It Gets

Quote of the Day (2007-10-10)

Mr. Ross: "It's a terrible tragedy when parents outlive their children."
George: "Yes, I agree. I hope my parents go long before I do."

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2007-10-09)

C: What's this thing?
"ROMANES EUNT DOMUS"?
"People called Romanes they go the house"?
B: It, it says "Romans go home".
C: No it doesn't. What's Latin for "Roman"?
B: (hesitates)
C: Come on, come on!
B: (uncertain) "ROMANUS".
C: Goes like?
B: "-ANUS".
C: Vocative plural of "-ANUS" is?
B: "-ANI".
C: "RO-MA-NI". "EUNT"? What is "EUNT"?
B: "Go".
C: Conjugate the verb "to go"!
B: "IRE". "EO", "IS", "IT", "IMUS", "ITIS", "EUNT".
C: So "EUNT" is ...?
B: Third person plural present indicative, "they go".
C: But "Romans, go home!" is an order, so you must use the ...?
(lifts Brian by his hairs)
B: The ... imperative.
C: Which is?
B: Ahm, oh, oh, "I", "I"!
C: How many romans? (pulls harder)
B: Plural, plural! "ITE".
C: (strikes over "EUNT" and paints "ITE" to the wall)
(satisfied) "I-TE".
"DOMUS"? Nominative? "Go home", this is motion towards, isn't it, boy?
B: (very anxious) Dative?
C: (draws his sword and holds it to Brian's throat)
B: Ahh! No, ablative, ablative, sir. No, the, accusative, accusative,
ah, DOMUM, sir.
C: Except that "DOMUS" takes the ...?
B: ... the locative, sir!
C: Which is?
B: "DOMUM".
C: (satisfied) "DOMUM" (strikes out "DOMUS" and writes "DOMUM") "-MUM".
Understand?
B: Yes sir.
C: Now write it down a hundred times.
B: Yes sir, thank you sir, hail Caesar, sir.
C: (salutes) Hail Caesar. If it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.
B: (very reliefed) Oh thank you sir, thank you sir, hail Caesar and everything, sir!

Source: Life of Brian

Quote of the Day (2007-10-08)

Sir Humphrey: "It must be hard for a political adviser to understand this, but I'm merely a civil servant. I simply do as I am instructed by my master."
Jim Hacker: "What happens when a Minister is a woman, what'll you call her?"
Sir Humphrey: "Yes, that is rather interesting. We sought an answer to that point when I was Principal Private Secretary and Dr. Edith Summerskill - as she then was - was appointed Minister in 1947. I didn't quite like to refer to her as my mistress."
Jim Hacker: "What was the answer?"
Sir Humphrey: "Oh, we're still waiting for it."

Source: Yes, Minister

Quote of the Day (2007-10-07)

Sir Arnold: "I presume the Prime Minister is in favour of this scheme because it will reduce unemployment?"
Sir Humphrey: "Well, it looks as if he's reducing unemployment."
Sir Arnold: "Or looks as if he's trying to reduce unemployment."
Sir Humphrey: "While as in reality he's only trying to look as if he's trying to reduce unemployment."
Sir Arnold: "Yes, because he's worried that it does not look as if he's trying to look as if he's trying to reduce unemployment."

Source: Yes, Prime Minister

Quote of the Day (2007-10-06)

"It's smart. It's a smart line, and a smart crowd will appreciate it. And I'm not going to dumb it down for some bonehead mass audience!"

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2007-10-05)

The past tempts us, the present confuses us, and the future frightens us...and our lives slip away, moment by moment, lost in that vast, terrible in-between.

Source: Babylon 5

Quote of the Day (2007-10-04)

The Dead Collector: Bring out yer dead.
[a man puts a body on the cart]
Large Man with Dead Body: Here's one.
The Dead Collector: That'll be ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead.
The Dead Collector: What?
Large Man with Dead Body: Nothing. There's your ninepence.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not dead.
The Dead Collector: 'Ere, he says he's not dead.
Large Man with Dead Body: Yes he is.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm not.
The Dead Collector: He isn't.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I'm getting better.
Large Man with Dead Body: No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.
The Dead Collector: Well, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I don't want to go on the cart.
Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, don't be such a baby.
The Dead Collector: I can't take him.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I feel fine.
Large Man with Dead Body: Oh, do me a favor.
The Dead Collector: I can't.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
The Dead Collector: I promised I'd be at the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.
Large Man with Dead Body: Well, when's your next round?
The Dead Collector: Thursday.
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I think I'll go for a walk.
Large Man with Dead Body: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Isn't there anything you could do?
The Dead Body That Claims It Isn't: I feel happy. I feel happy.
[the Dead Collector glances up and down the street furtively, then silences the Body with his a whack of his club]
Large Man with Dead Body: Ah, thank you very much.
The Dead Collector: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
Large Man with Dead Body: Right.

Source: Holy Grail

Quote of the Day (2007-10-03)

Basil Fawlty: Manuel... my wife informs me that you're... depressed. Let me tell you something. Depression is a very bad thing. It's like a virus. If you don't stamp on it, it spreads throughout the mind, and then one day you wake up in the morning and you... you can't face life any more!
Sybil Fawlty: And then you open a hotel.

Source: Fawlty Towers

Quote of the Day (2007-10-02)

[George describing his breakup attempt]
It's like I was making a prison break, you know. And I'm heading for the wall, and I trip and I twist my ankle, and they throw the light on you, you know. So, somehow I get through the crying and I keep running. Then the cursing started. She's firing at me from the guard tower: 'Son of a bang! Son of a boom!' I get to the top of the wall, the front door. I opened it up, I'm one foot away. I took one last look around the penitentiary, and I jumped!

Source: Seinfeld

Quote of the Day (2007-10-01)

Ilsa: A franc for your thoughts.
Rick: In America they'd bring only a penny, and, huh, I guess that's about all they're worth.

Source: Casablanca